Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
