god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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