fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
