I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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