very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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