wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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