Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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