this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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