I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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