Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
