dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He passed out mid-signature
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
