Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
