He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
