you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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