East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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