My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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