lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
