I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
