I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
foreskin is a definite game changer
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
