what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
