when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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