so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
