Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
