So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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