if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
