I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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