first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize