you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Welp...herpes.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
