Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
