It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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