She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
