I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
