the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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