Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
