I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
