I hate your face
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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