so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
