I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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