i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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