She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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