I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
