thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
