I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
