I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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