it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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