I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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