Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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