So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
