No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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