i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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