I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
