It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
