Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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