I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
