If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
