IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
