just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize