Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This house was built for laser tag.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
