We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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