Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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