We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
