have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
