he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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