maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
