i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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