just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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